Funeral Arrangements - Did You Know?
Is it a...Fact? or a Myth?1. My funeral arrangements can be put in my Will,
and my wishes will be honoured.2. Embalming is always required after death.
3. If I want to pre-plan, I must pre-pay.
5. There is a non-profit, co-operative funeral home in London.
6. Standard caskets (at least) are a must.
7. An undertaker must be called after a death.
MYTH
1. Don't use your Will for funeral pre-arrangements!
What? You mean a legal document like a Will has no power to dictate my wishes for my funeral arrangements to the living? How can that be?Well, it's all in the timing. Funerals usually take place (including disposal of the body) less than a week after a person dies. The Will doesn't even get officially read until after the funeral has taken place! By then, it's too late - so a Will, in itself, is no guarantee that you will have the funeral you want.
DID YOU KNOW...that a Safety Deposit Box is just as bad?
The only person who can open the Safety Deposit Box of the deceased is - you guessed it! - the deceased. At least, not without some documentation, which usually comes, again, after the funeral.
So... Where do I put my funeral arrangements?
The more people who have copies of your arrangements, the more likely you are to have what you want. You can choose to give copies to your next-of-kin (preferably to more than one), your Executor, your family doctor, to the leader at your place of worship (clergy, etc.), and, of course, at the funeral home itself - not to mention your emergency/personal file/papers at your home. In short, anyone who may be present and responsible to take action at, or after, death occurs. More ideas? the files at the nursing home, close friends, close neighbours ... you can best decide where copies should be.
MYTH
2. Embalming - if necessary, but not necessarily embalming
But wouldn't that pose a health risk?
In most cases, NO. It's an old myth that's been scientifically disproven ages ago. Embalming is only necessary if a body has been three days dead without refrigeration. But funeral directors often insist on embalming, even under normal circumstances, if the body is to be viewed. This is because it makes the body more pliable, and easier to work with.
What's your feeling about embalming? How do you feel about an open casket? It's worth talking about. Remember, you have a choice.
MYTH
3. Pre-planning and pre-paying
Many thousands of people across North America have been leaving their funeral plans with their chosen funeral home, without paying a cent. They give copies to those who may make funeral decisions for them, and keep a copy for themselves. If your funeral director insists that you pre-pay if you want to pre-arrange, ask why?
Well, what's the problem with pre-paying?
What if you move to another area? What if the funeral home changes hands, and you don't like the new owners or managers? Legally, the money you pay must go into a trust account. If you do decide to pre-pay, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE DOCUMENTED PROOF that ALL the money you paid is in a trust account for you! And that your account receives the interest earned by the principle. You must also receive a contract that clearly itemizes all services with costs, guaranteeing that the prices quoted will not change.
Barbara Beck, past Chair of the Ontario Board of Funeral Services, suggested an even better strategy would be to SET UP YOUR OWN INTEREST-EARNING FUND FOR FUNERAL PURPOSES, keeping an eye on any rise in the pre-arranged costs, and DOING WHATEVER YOU LIKE WITH THE EXTRA MONEY YOU MAKE!
DID YOU KNOW... that Funeral Directors BY LAW must provide you with an up-to-date price list free of charge?
MYTH
4. Transplants: It's my body - or is it?
If you choose to make a gift of part(s) of your body for transplant on death (or after being declared brain-dead), you are making a decision to save the life of someone you will never meet, or to significantly improve their lives. You need to know that your wishes will be respected. To do that, discuss the issue with your family doctor, your loved ones, caregiver, or anyone who may be able to speak for you at the crucial time. PUT IT IN WRITING, and give copies to one and all (yes, your doctor, too!) Make sure you remind them all occasionally, so that they don't wonder if you've changed your mind over the years.
BUT ULTIMATELY, what happens to your body when you leave it (or are about to) is in the control of your doctor and your next-of-kin. IF THEY DON'T AGREE WITH YOUR WISHES, their decision takes precedence over yours!
So...COMMUNICATE. Talk - and listen. Hear their concerns, and try to address them. Let them know how important it is to you, and to those whose lives you would like to save. How much does it mean to have your wishes respected by those who love you?
DID YOU KNOW... that Dying With Dignity is an organization that sells papers called A LIVING WILL, to help you to document your decisions about what happens to you and your body as you are dying, and after death. They support "no heroic measures" to be taken medically to extend life for a person near death. Write or call them if you are interested:
Dying With Dignity
55 Eglinton Ave E., Suite #705
Toronto, Ontario
M4P IG8
1-800-495-6156
(or 416-486-3998 for local calls)MYTH
5. There is no longer a non-profit, co-operative funeral home-in London
Until recently, we did have one. But the organization that owned and ran it, the Memorial Funeral Services Co-operative of London & District Ltd., sold the funeral home, and then voted for its own dissolution. The Trillium Group now owns the funeral home and has kept the name. If you have pre-paid your funeral, your arrangements are on file, and they will be respected. If you have not pre-paid, but have arrangements on file, we recommend that you call Jennifer Bush at (519) 452-3770, and ask for their current prices.
DID YOU KNOW... that the London Memorial Society (that's us) has been confused with the co-operative that used to own and run the funeral home? We are not the same! And we're alive and well, thank you, and looking for new ways to serve the public and our membership.
MYTH
6. Standard Casket or Cardboard Box?
Well, not just any old cardboard box ... but if you are looking for an inexpensive container, an approved, reinforced cardboard casket substitute is an alternative that you may not know about. If that's not your cup of tea, don't worry - you can still spend a good chunk of your family's inheritance on a pretty casket if you like, and you can pay anything up to $25,000 for the privilege! That is also YOUR CHOICE.
MYTH
7. Funerals - Quite an Undertaking!
A do-it-yourself funeral, using either burial or cremation, is not a common occurrence in North America. It is legal, and if it's what you might be interested in, we can provide you with a step-by-step set of instructions. Check out the "DIY Funeral" link on the top left of this page.
DID YOU KNOW... that not all jurisdictions are the same. For instance, in Ontario, cremation can take place as soon after death as all the papers have been signed and filed. Each place has its own rules, and sets its own fees!
BY THE WAY, TO ALL YOU SURFERS OUTSIDE ONTARIO...
Each province, territory, and country has its own legislative and licensing requirements. PLEASE DON'T ASSUME that yours are the same as ours! Check with your local Memorial Society for details.
AND TO ALL YOU SNOWBIRDS ...
We recommend that you get to know the Memorial Society in the area where you vacation. Memberships are lifelong, and are transferable to any Society across North America free of charge. Get all your questions answered now, and save your family the worry later (when they may not be in shape to make good decisions for you!)
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